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[21 Nov 2007|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 wanting thanksgiving food |
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so.... i haven't updated in forever. and life is still sucking. lol
but whatever, i'm done with all the shit in my past.
i'm happy!!!
most of the time
my life is finally falling into place
i have great friends
my mom is a bitch sometimes
but aren't they all occasionally?
i know that i'm broken
and that will never change
and i don't want it to change
i am who i am
deal with it
plus i'm part of the gang
the crew
i have protectors
they won't let me get hurt
and my role is by their side
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[26 Nov 2006|04:41pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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grr........ i can't eat!!!!!!!!! i'm sick so my stomach is upset and i get hungry so i try and eat but i can only get down a few bites. so basically i have a forced eating disorder. which is really bad. besides the fact that i wouldn't mind not eating, i physically need to eat.
if i don't eat i get dizzy, sick, feverish, and mostly likely will faint. this = not good. ok? plus a cold means that i can't breath. so basically i'm suffering. god, my head is killing me.
i expect hugs.
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| I need to repost this again |
[31 Oct 2006|07:16pm] |
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mood |
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spooky |
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(note i did not write this, but it's what i have been thinking)
I am trying to get by with it
But I have to admit
It has been bad lately
But I am not going to cut or take pills or take anything again
I try to keep self control
because I believe there is always 1 thing
that you "stay" for
even if you don't see it
and if you are not seeing it
you are not looking hard enough
and you need to stop worrying about the problem and concentrate on the solution
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[29 Jun 2006|11:47pm] |
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mood |
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crying my eyes out |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Missing" by Evanescence |
] |
i don't know anything anymore. i don't even know who i am. and it hurts. i know what music i like and my favorite band because i live to listen to music. but that's all i know. wait... i know my favorite color. isn't that nice? i don't have friends either. yeah... they say they want to get together with me, but somehow i don't think they mean it. i mean they spend all this time with their other friends, but i get pushed in the corner.
i'm sick of this fucking life. i eat, sleep, and do what i'm told just so i can make everyone else happy. if it would make the world be happy i would kill myself. I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!!!!! IT'S MEANINGLESS!!!! do you get my drift??!! all i have is people who feel sorry for me. i don't know what to do anymore. it fucking tears me up inside just think about it.
they say poor girl when i have my hallucinations and they say that almost anyone has them, but i have more then that. i'm depressed and bipolar and i kinda have most of the other simptoms that go along with schizophrenia. so go ahead. feel sorry for me. just watch me suffer. because what i need right now is a friend.
don't mind me i'm just crying my eyes out. which means i must really feel something because a side affect of the anti-depressents is that i can't really cry. does that give you a hint?
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[09 Jun 2006|12:03am] |
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What Color Sharpie Are You? (25 Different Colors) Updated Again!
Black Sharpie
Element: Ether (Dictionary: The element believed in ancient and medieval civilizations to fill all space above the sphere of the moon and to compose the stars and planets.)
Sense: Sight
Gemstone: Onyx
Some Qualities: Mysterious, Protective, Independent
Fact: Legend says that one day while Venus, the goddess of love, was sleeping Eros/Cupid cut her fingernails and left the clippings scattered on the ground. Because no part of a heavenly body can die, the gods turned them into stone, which later became known as onyx.
Take this quiz!
 Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
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[15 May 2006|06:00pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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i'm really depressed right now. so i need people to cheer me up. i need to be around happy, smiling, laughing people that make me laugh and smile. or else i think about scary things like how i'm alone and going to die and no one cares. please help me.
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[06 May 2006|06:51pm] |
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i'm going to see the movie Stick It on Sunday, around 3ish. if anyone wants to come let me now.
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[01 May 2006|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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so i was at FYE a couple of weeks ago and me and Sharon were looking at the used dvds. we were actually there to get The Dresden Dolls cd (which, by the way, rocks my world). anyways, as we're looking through the dvds we say to each other 'hey these are really good prices.' and we ended up getting The Princess Bride (classic), Pirates of the Caribbean (love this movie), and Underworld (which is my favorite out of the three). so it totally made my day.
"The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it."
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[28 Apr 2006|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
] |
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating!
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[21 Apr 2006|03:33pm] |
What Color Sharpie Are You? (25 different colors) Updated!
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[04 Apr 2006|04:10pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
Happy Birthday April!!!!!!!
sorry i didn't get a chance to tell ya in school today. <3 ya.
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[01 Apr 2006|12:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
Fears
[x] the dark
[x] staying single
[ ] getting married
[x] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[x] being myself in front of others
[x] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] spiders and/or other insects
[ ] driving or being in cars
[ ] flying
[x] being put to sleep
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] water
[x] the ocean
[ ] pools
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] mice/rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] cemetaries
[x] clowns
[x] porcelain dolls
[x] wax figures
[x] large crowds
[ ] demons or evil
[ ] crossing bridges
[x] being robbed
[x] being sexually assulted
[ ] men
[ ] women
[x] having great responsibility
[ ] commitment
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[x] being punished
[x] diseases, including cancer and STD's
[x] becoming paralyzed
[ ] snakes
[x] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] poverty
[ ] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[x] fear (the only thing to fear is fear itself)
[x] being alone
[x] losing my friends
[x] being blind
[ ] being deaf
[x] growing up
[x] being murdered in my sleep
[ ] Hell
[ ] Heaven
[x] death
30 out of 70. not bad. 43 percent.
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[19 Mar 2006|08:09pm] |
 | You scored as Black. You are a black rose! Black signifies death. You are an unhappy, morbid soul waiting for the end. Most of the time you feel like life is just too long, and may think of ways to end your own.
Black | | 83% | Yellow | | 67% | Red | | 50% | Pink | | 50% | Orange | | 50% | White | | 0% | </td>
Which Color Rose Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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[18 Mar 2006|04:30pm] |
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mood |
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indifferent |
] |
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[08 Mar 2006|12:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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gloomy |
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i'm gonna try and update more, k? Sharon is out today. so sad. i think i'm gonna cry. *tear* nevermind. she's been kinda bitchy. maybe that's cuz she's sick. i have no idea. i need to talk to her. tell her something. so, Sharon when ya read this come find me, ok? ok. good. lylas (lol, u r my sister). <3 ya
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[06 Mar 2006|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crying inside |
] |
hey people. i haven't written on here in forever. i'm really lazy. yup. that's me. i need to stop putting myself down. for example: i feel really fat. fine. i'm gonna make this a happy entry. ok? because then everyone is happy. right? of course. screw it. i can't pretend to be happy. it ain't gonna work. i'm too fucking 'emo' and depressed.
you people that actually read this entries are going to have to die. it's unavoidable. you're not supposed to know anything about me. it should be like a law or something. you know i'm right. so, lots of hugs to alla my friends, but i'm still gonna kill ya (you know i'm kidding right. like i could actually murder someone, lol). <3 ya.
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